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Dec 04, 2009, 03:50 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
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First off, try going to some alanon meetings. You don't have to say anything at the meetings until you feel comfortable, or not ever if you don't want to. So don't put pressure on yourself. Most people at those meetings will understand.
Call your local mental health clinic that charges on a sliding scale. It will be months before you get an appointment but take it and go when your appointment day finally arrives. They may be of much more help to you than you can imagine. Don't give up just because you'll need patience to wait for your first appointment.
Make a plan that is do-able for you to start saving money with the goal of eventually moving out of your mother's home. Collect cans for recycling, save a bit of the money your mother gives you to go shopping, work at a part time job that you feel you might enjoy or at least be able to do for awhile. Or work a series of part or full time jobs to save some money. Don't worry about a career right now - you may be putting too much stress on yourself. Right now you need help, you need some money to pay for that help and you need to get away from your mother.
Find out what you enjoy doing and do it! Even if it is all stuff you do by yourself like reading, talking to friends online, taking walks, watching tv, whatever. You deserve time to just enjoy yourself and relax. Do that for at least an hour every day.
Don't judge yourself by who you think you "should" be. Be who you are and try to learn to like and accept yourself. I have a very limited social circle - my husband, a few neighbors I talk to, my two grrrls (doggies) and very occasionally a family member and my wonderful friends here on PC. I don't have a career. I spend most of my time alone. But this is the best I can do for myself and I accept that and I'm content with that today.
I don't see myself as a loser. I'm a winner because I see myself as a winner; I can keep myself relatively physically and mentally healthy; I live life content on my terms and not based on what TV or "other people" tell me I "should" be doing to be "happy" or "worthwhile;" and I am comfortable in my own skin. Keep trying, keep looking, keep asking for help, if you do you will find your own way and you will be okay. 
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