This is really disturbing me... I have recently broken up with a long time partner that really tried to help me through my sexual insecurities, yet I never really enjoyed full sex. I find I worry about losing my erection to such a degree that it ineviatbly happens, I find that it doesn't pleasure me much and feel like I'm some creature on the discovery channel... I just don't like it. I have sexual desire but would rather get rid of it myself if you know what I mean. I don't like the whole image of sex, the fact that it is supposed to be so important, the fact that you need to have a good 'sex life'. The thing is the break up was partly due to this problem and I have split with people before saying I wanted to be celibate. I am now very lonely and can't identify with other celibates as I do long for affection, long for passion, long for romance, long for kissing and touching, but actual full on sex just makes me feel - well I say its like dancing, you are supposed to enjoy it but it makes me feel very self conscious and although I understand why it should be pleasureable I would rather not do it. It doesn't bode well for my furture as I can't imagine finding someone that feels the same. I am 35.. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 27 and sometimes it seems that might be why I'm like this. Any help would be appreciated as I feel very depressed about it. By the way I suffer depression, and borderline personality as well.