Greetings!

When my husband and parents found out about my hospital visit they were in shock and thought that my T had it in for me, that he was trying to hurt me. My parents wanted to get a lawyer and sue him, etc. etc........finally I got tired of everyone bad-mouthing him and told the truth.....I thought they'd fall over.

The effect of the Trileptal may be just because you are starting it, until your system gets used to it. If you aren't comfortable with your doc, you need to do some research. I checked out all kinds of spots on the net and learned about the meds and what they were for and the side effects. I made a list and brought it with me to my appt and suggested 3 of them to him.

I felt I needed to do my homework because what he was prescribing was not doing a thing but making me sleepy all the time and forgetful. I was up to 80 mg of Prozac a day and can't remember a year and a half of my life - that's scary. I have bits and pieces flash in my mind sometimes, but I didn't even remember all the visits with my T, and asked to see my records so I could remember them.

I have gotten very attached to cutting also. It is what is stopping me from actually taking another overdose. It's my release valve unfortunately, so I understand how you feel. I have the same thoughts when I am at work sometimes. I have even gotten a small knife on my keychain so that I have one with me at all times...........that is bad.

The Effexor has helped my memory return - I am more focused and can remember things much better. In terms of my moods..............a little. I don't hit rock bottom as much as I used to. The mood swings (I am borderline personality and severe depression, btw) are still bad and when I am upset, I don't think at all - I simply react and never in a good way. I call it being "chaotic".

My T has been trying to get me to call him before I harm myself, but he doesn't understand that I don't stop and think about that - I simply cut and think after the fact.

You need to do some research on the net, check out what your doc says you are, what you think you may be and then check out the meds. If you need some links, let me know.....I've probably been to quite a few.

It is nice to talk to someone who is in the same boat.......and sharing the "oars" with me. Stay in touch - and never worry about how long your post is or bugging me. Cuz you're not, in any way.

Mary Alice