Thanks JM

I needed to hear that. I am tryng so hard to be happy and not think about it but maybe I actally need to cry...it's my 30th Birthday today...what a horrible way to spend it. I am going out this evening but the day is looking like it's going to be very long.
He does know he's hurting me - says he never wanted to. I see it as cheating because still have feelings for him. He see's it as well it was all over and he took te relationship with her to the next level.... I'd like to believe that it's not love but who knows.
He still insists he wants to be friends.. what a F***ed up concept that is. It just makes me more clingy and needy. Have to stay amicable until the house setttlement is resolved... I'm not dragging it out it's just so hard to get things done quickly coming up to Christmas.

With her in the house... it's like he just replaced me so easily.. that sucks but I know that I am a better person than he will ever be.

I am in therapy... but the next appointment is so far away (16th).

When I spoke with him yesterday he made comments of how our relationship was wrong (from his POV) - he says he was to selfish, that when he knew I was feeling unhappy he should have done something about it rather than just cheer me up.. I wouldn't have said I was unhappy... but yes I would have liked to socialize mor but never pushed him on the issue.. Like he said I never asked for anything... my goal was always his happiness..
Nice to see that all my hardwork etc is going to pay of with the new girl... He's doing what ever she wants rather than being stubborn about it..

Interest rates have increased here .37%.... have emailed him this morning to tell him that he will need to start putting more money into the account. He has agreed to continue to pay the mortgage until it's all settled and in my name alone. I am going to rent the house.
he has completely ruined any GOOD memories and the fun that we had in buying and living in the house by bringing her into that world which was once ours....