Jexa- You DID NOT hijack my thread! LOL! I so appreciate your response to me and I relate to everything you are saying. Some to a lesser degree, but it is there. I know that self-hate. Its as if we have to talk ourselves out of it at the most crucial moments. And it isnt as if (for me) they are formed words in my mind, its a feeling, a feeling of being unable and not goo enough to do or say this or that. What I have found has helped is doing exactly what your T said to do. Try everything and anything out and show yourself, see, I can do it, they do like me and it may progress into...Im fun to be around.

Even that the self-hate is quieter when you are in your working environment where you know what to say and do in most instances shows me that you CAN feel confident and less self-hate with more practice in social situation....RL situations. As I said before, you are insightful, funny and popular (!) here! Just because we cant see your face behind that screen doesn mean you arent fun and interesting to be around.

And....I think you found the perfect T since she has gotten to the other side of this kind of struggle as well.

My 13 yo daughter used to be very, very shy. I assume it was a confidence thing, but she was like that from birth. A shy baby who didnt want too much stimulation or people looking at her. In school (Elemantary) she was well liked, very well liked, but could only have 1 or 2 close friends. It was enough for her. She seemed not to know what to say or do in larger groups and seemed over whelmed. She gained more confidence as she got older and was thrown into more social situations than she would have put herself in. It wasnt easy for her then, but now she has a gorup of friends, and, of course, a best friend, and she has the confidence to get close to a number of kids in her class. I think without the practice she has had over the years, proving to herself that she was able, she would not be where she is today. She may be young, but I think it applies to us adults too! She had to freedom to learn and practice at her own pace, there was some pressure there, but if she could do it, I know you and I could, too