I left home on July 6th and got back just recently. I was at the hospital, which took much longer than it should have, because community mental health wouldn't approve me for inpatient, only a crisis home, which wouldn't keep me safe as I knew I was dangerously suicidal. The way that clinician talked with me... grr. I couldn't believe it, and it left me with no choices I could see, so I did all I could think to do - resolve myself to suicide worse than I ever have before. I attempted, but obviously it didn't work out - it would have had I planned it longer. So I got in the psych hospital the hard way, and didn't come out of the "dark" depression for 2 weeks, at which time I started slowly coming out to just "painful" depression. But I still don't feel safe. I think they were just under pressure to get me out, and decided to since I've been somewhat better. At least I'm going back for partial tomorrow... but I really have no idea what could work. I feel dead inside, don't care about anything, don't know what keeps me from hurting myself now - aside from not feeling much pain to provoke it.
I feel so lost.
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I'm not into South Park, I just thought the generator made cute avis.
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