I haven't posted here in a very long time. I'm actually feeling kinda nervous.

My depression is mostly brought on by my situation. I can't even think clearly, so if I don't make sense...that's why.

Basically in the last year I have lost everything. I have dropped out of college, lost my home, my kids, my car, my job...recently I have lost my boyfriend and gained a crap load of weight. I'm attempting to get my life together again, but I am completely hopeless. I am literally starting from the bottom and trying to put the pieces back together again.

I've moved in with my ex, so I am back with my children again. But, I am so filled with guilt I don't even know where to begin to start a relationship with them again. I've basically been out of their lives for a year and a half.

I've also gotten a job, a housekeeping job. It's something for now. My ex is letting me use his jeep to get back and forth to work. He is helping me as much as he can.

Clearly I've made the first step to starting on the right path, but I am still completely heart broken over my boyfriend, and lonely. Over these years I lost contact with all my friends and a lot of family members as well.

I cry and sleep a lot. I also get really hopeless. I feel there is no future.