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Dec 05, 2009, 02:17 AM
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Grief Support Area - I've put the story all together (for those that don't know, I refer (mom) as FACE, for there is no other
I have never come to this area before, but as one of my sisters at this very moment is bleeding out from a life time of alcohol. She is only 47.
Life has been horrible and this is the way this sister chose to deal with the past pain. Pain she could never face, wouldn't allow herself to feel the ugliness.
They say she has 48 hours left and that family should come now...
There are many ignorant issues that allow us not to be there to say our finally goodbyes. But of we 4 sisters - She Knows we love her and one another.
The past 6 years - as a miracle - she lived this long.
Even doctors were amazed.
We have all shared a love, yet were never allowed to share as children. Even now - it is an estranged relationship due to trust.
The pain of not knowing each other - the pain to know what we could have, should have had shared all these years together. Never allowed to be. Because of FACE, (the mother) who Still remains - in denial.
Still in denial of what we became because of what she'd done. The chosen acts of dumbness to brought our this far. Still remains - in denial.
After 20 years later - we came together, only to now see one of us about to pass. We had only 4 years to try to bond - but there was an awful difficult - The strangeness between us because of years lost, that never did exist, and still now will never come.
I'm not sure what I feel. My sister has had so many close calls - But this seems the last.
I write not only in sadness but in Anger for the life time were we forced to be kept apart from on another. Still remains - in Denial.
My Sister Brenda died today (age 47)
Horrible as it is and I see it in my visual - She bleed out in the hospital.
The one who caused this - The one who gave her a case of beer on her 11th birthday - Started her path of drinking herself to death, was FACE.
Brenda's liver had stopped working 4 years ago - But Brenda is a fighter.
Several years back when this first happened she went into a coma for 5 weeks. The girl did not want to die and woke up.
In her head she said the song "Walking on Sunshine" was playing in her head as she was running through a fields of flowers.
Face is what I, and the other two of my sisters, and the 1 -2 friends refer to the as the 'mother'.
FACE was the one who gave Brenda the case of beer and continued to make Brenda her partying buddie.
Later in life FACE told her she was a low live waste of existence.... Brenda asked her "Why didn't you get me help"
FACE did not reply - as she never does, unless to deny everything she put us through and allowed to have done to us.
By pulling the plug FACE was in ecstasy as she had the POWER over anothers life and death.
FACE pulled the plug and it took only 15 minutes to make that decision.
It was the hospital that told one of our sisters, that they would keep the respiratory on until family got there, she had less than 48 hours to live.
FACE nor Brenda's daughters ever contacted any of us....
What a spectacular feeling FACE must have... To be given that POWER, over anothers life or death.
I used to wish FACE would pass horribly...all three of we sisters did.
I am the oldest of four sisters. We are all two years apart. The sister just below me died today.
But Brenda, Brenda a Heart of Gold
BRENDA - she stayed true to FACE until the very end - BECAUSE she only wanted to have a MOM, that's why she couldn't give her up.
Many a month or so before Brenda passed she actually stood up to FACE and said "I'm dying, you did this to me"
OF COURSE FACE hit the road - until the next drama - oh she loves the drama.
FACE is so good at it....It's sickening. She fools people, it's the soft hearted ones she does this too.
She always kept it hidden from the world, but to we four girls we received the truth: Abuse. When we tried to get help, to tell someone, we even runaway to juvenile hall -----
She convinced them we were lying that I was sick in the head - crazy. Another she said was psyco.
EVEN Now ----- After all these years she tries to get a hold of our children to convince them she is good grandma and never did anything wrong.
3 - KNOW the Truth, 3 - Have FALLEN into her WEB.
MY SISTER DIED TODAY
Hovering within me the anger is thrashing -
The pain starts to creep out It Stops Why She can't be - She can't be Always, Always A Woman of Heart But Dear GOD I know her pain here on this pit of a system You whooshed her away into your warm and gentle hands. Now in the Sunshine Never again shall she see Rain MY SISTER DIED TODAY
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