hi everyone. my depression is really bad right now. i am married with a wife and 2 little kids and i don't get enjoyment out of anything. i've been out of work since march and we are so broke, living on state aid and my parents-in-law paying the rent. finding a job or the energy to do so seems impossible. my wife also suffers from depression and bad social anxiety, so i have to be the "functional" one, but i'm not. i take meds and see a therapist (only seen her 3 times so far).
every day is just so long and boring. there is nothing to do and i enjoy nothing. it's such a struggle just to get through the day. i just look forward to going to bed at the end of the day. i'm really sad all the time, i feel like crying or actually do cry a lot and the horribly feeling in my stomach is pretty constant. it's from my worrying that this will never get better, that we both need jobs and even if i find one it's not enough to pay the bills and my wife is a long way from working.
i'm just really hopeless and feel horrible. i don't know if writing anything here will help but i'm desperate and have nothing better to do so i thought i'd try. thanks.