Berries, I dont have the answers you are looking for, I can only tell you you are not a failure, you are a kind and generous person. I dont believe success or failure can be measured by someone's job or marital status. My belief is that success is measured by the kindness you have been able to show others, giving of ourselves is also a priority on my list. Just being yourself, truly yourself, is on the + list.
Be kind to yourself and try to be best you can be, that is all you can do.
I have a job and I have a spouse and children but am I being true to myself??? Am I giving them what they deserve, I dont think so...I have tried but seems I always come up short. Right now I have someone in my life but I am wondering if it is for the right reasons so you see, what is good for some might not be good for everyone, I hope this makes sense to you.
I hope you feel better soon