When I was a child, my stepmom used to tell me to stop complaining and to look how hard other people had it so I stopped complaining and kept it all inside for 40 years. It did not stop me from hurting badly and for feeling guilty for feeling so bad....I feel sad when others are hurting or going through hard times but it doesnt take my hurt away...I have learned that I have to take care of myself and my needs first because no one else will, they are much too busy taking care of themselves and also I have come to believe that the ones who are happier out there (or seem to be) are the ones who take care of themselves first, I find this fact sad but nevertheless to be the truth.