I feel like i dont have enough fire power left in me to cope... The future threatens more hard days and i know if i stop fighting i might as well end up dying...It seems as though my brain is out of ideas on how to get a way out of this pain that always sneaks up on me no matter what i do to make myself feel better...It sneaks up on me when i am listening to a song i have listened to a dozen times before cos it was a nice song and it sneaks up on me when my brain tells me to keep fighting and go watch t.v instead of bringing down the house... I dont know how to remove this feeling... Maybe God's unhappy with me for something i did... Why else would he deprive me of the thing every human wants which is good companionship...