I am more paranoid than ever lately. I can't relax in my own apartment. I like being alone, I have things to do, but I end up not doing anything for long and I end up frustrated. No one can see me. Believe me I have checked to see what someone outside could see with the blinds up, open, etc. It is more like the thought that 'if' someone could see me, they would not approve.

I have the next week off work. I want to just relax and be me, do things I like to do, enjoy this time to myself. I am afraid it is going to deteriorate into a panicky week of despair.

I just wish I could feel at home... at home... in my skin..