Bigshmoo,

I'm sorry that you're having a tough time. I am going thru the same problems as you are, so I hope it helps to know that you aren't alone. It has helped me to read the boards on PC & know that others feel the same way as I do, b/c I often feel like I'm the only one who feels so badly until I do. People here have been very supposrtive, too. You've received some helpful replies. There is something you have that I don't, which to me is the most important thing you can have, & that is a family. Try to focus on the love & friendship & support that you & your wife give each other, & the joy your children bring to your life, like the funny comments that come out of their mouths & the miracles they are. Try to concentrate on what you do have, like in-laws who have your back & took your family in. The holidays can be a really stressful time of year to boot, but maybe you can just drive the kids around & look at decorations. It doesn't cost anything (except for gas) & it will be a fun thing for the family to do. Try to your distract your mind. I hope this helps, & I'm sending you a hug.