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PurpleFlyingMonkeys · Dec 05, 2009, 06:07 PM

Just wanted to say goodbye to all my pc friends. You all may not know me as this name, but I'm a somewhat old friend. All of you have helped me in so many ways, helped me find happiness when there was only darkness in my life and I wont forget some of you. A certain group of friends I was fortunate enough to meet here on pc, and irl and they helped me more than anyone ever has. Some of the friends I have met in here, I don't think I will ever lose contact with, I hope I don't.

I haven't been in chat in a while and haven't posted in here under my new screen name but I have many times before under my old name so if you're confused, that would be why.

I'm very thankful for this site. When my mental problems got to be too much to handle, this site helped me stay with reality and live through the horrible storm I was in the middle of. Because of this site, I found the strength to leave my abusive husband after 5 years. Because of this site I found out so much about what was going on with me, I found people who I could really relate to and people who knew what was going on inside of me. For the first time in years I felt like I wasn't alone any more. Even if the only people who could understand me were online.

Now I'm on my own with my daughter and things are still very hard. It's impossible to keep a job and even more impossible to find a new job. I am staying with horrible family who are really mean and sleeping in my car (my daughter sleeps in a crib inside the house with the rest of the family). But still with these horrible things going on, I am still the happiest I can ever remember being.

I have problems with my self esteem that I need to work on, and problems second guessing myself, but these problems are so miniscule compared to the problems I was facing before I left.

Now my alters are in hiding. I guess they no longer feel the need to protect me. I'm completely off my medication and my schizo effects are gone. I no longer hate my face for the wrong reasons and I'm no longer afraid and angry. My social anxiety is getting better with every day and I'm just in a better state of mind.

I wish all of you could feel the peace I am feeling. I wish all of you had the hope that I have right now and the ability to see the silver lining in a cloud.

The reason for this thread (sorry I always post novels) is to say goodbye for now. I'm moving on, trying to put the last 5 years behind me and start a new life from scratch with my daughter. While I will be checking in from time to time to catch up with the people I became close to, I will as I have been this last couple months, pretty much mia from the chat and forum.

I need to spend this time focusing on me and my daughter. Trying to get us on our feet and start to provide a safe healthy and happy home for my daughter. Right now I can't have any reminders of the misery that took place in the last 5 or even 22 years, I have to look to the future so I have to say goodbye...

Thanks for all of the support and I hope that in this name or another name, I have somehow helped all of you the way you have helped me. You are all much appreciated and wonderful!

I hope you are all well, take care my wonderful pc friends!!!