((((gracieme))))

Thank you for posting and for sharing what you were feeling. You did a good job telling us what was going on. I am sorry that you feel annoyed. Maybe it has to do with what happened today. Maybe it is something that is coming up for you and you just have not got it all as of yet.

I am so glad that you open up to your t. That is so important. Your t will be able to guide you and know what is going on. I am glad that you shared with us too. Trusting people to open up to is hard. And it is smart to be causious when opening up.

Sometimes others do not understand or can not get it, and you do not want to feel worse by them making comments that would only serve to do that. Maybe not even meaning to but they just do not get it. Being careful is a wise thing.

Denial is something we all go through sometimes many times as we walk along our path to healing. It sometimes is hard to accept things that hurt and why or even what they are. I know for me, denial has been something that was put into me so it was so easy to go there and try to make it go away.

It takes time to be able to face things. If you are not ready to face things then it can be more harmful to force it. But that said, living in denial can be just as harmful. None of us like to admit things that have happened to us.

It is not easy and in admitting we then have to face the facts and what happened. For me, many times I would rather run but I also know that healing comes from being able to look at it, deal with it, and then move forward. And that sometimes takes a long time to do. But once we have truly dealt with thngs we can move forward. Sometimes one minute at a time, and sometimes even one second at a time.

I hear you say that you need to distract someway since you do not smoke or drink, but replacing another not so good habit that can lead to more feelings of what you do not want is not really an answer. Do you draw, write, sew, or have any other hobbies you like to do? I know that from experience eating for comfort can get out of hand and then you feel bad about the weight that comes on.

And other things can occur like diabetes, water gain, heart problems, and those are to name a few. I gained a lot of weight eating to find confort and I know for me it just created another problem of feeling terrible about myself. My self-esteem plummeted downward even lower than it already was. And now, I am trying to lose it all. I just do not wish you to bring on something else to have to deal with.

It is good to get your feelings out. I am glad that you posted here. I validate what you are feeling. Please take care of yourself. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We are here for you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts.

dps