Don't blame this all on yourself, you are not to blame here. It sounds like you have actually been trying really hard to find a job and working hard in school, but things just aren't working out right now. Only less than 20% of college graduates this year got a job--with the econonmy, and usually its still only about 50%...I'm sure with time things will start to get better for you. I kind of am going through a similar thing, not the same, but well, just having to rely on my parents still for money when I am 21 and wish I could be more on my own. I'll be thinking of you.