I don't have DID, but have frequently had dissociative symptoms. T started doing some ego state work with me once, but it has been years and she hasn't brought it up again and to me it feels like claiming something that somehow I'm not entitled to if I bring it up again.

There is a part of me that babbles in just nonsense sounds, but they definitely seem to relate to particular emotions. When I am around only family or someone I know very well and I'm not afraid of them thinking that I'm crazy or something, sometimes the noises are like the happy cooing and jargan talk that you hear from babies that haven't learned to talk yet. I think that this is also the part of me that meows to the cats and barks to the dogs and maaas to the goats, but I'm not sure. The animal noises are a bit more connected to me and conscious and controlled. The baby noises just happen.

I am aware of it, and can stop it if I want to, but it doesn't feel like me. I can even acknowledge the noises and comment about them, with or without stopping the noises. The part of me that makes baby noises has a name. She is called Heidi. I don't think that she has language, but I have known her name for several years, and maybe since I was a child. I think that she is very young, or maybe even part animal. I have been letting her 'talk' more than I used to, rather than silencing her all the time. I have been more aware of her lately too. She hasn't ever talked to T. I don't know if that is because she hasn't wanted to, or because I haven't let her. She is a lot more talkative when I am tired and going to sleep.

Sometimes she makes angry noises too, but only when I am completely alone, like when I am driving in my car. Sometimes she shrieks! I almost said she screams, but I don't ever scream and don't think that I can, and she is part of me, so probably can't either. And sometimes it feels like anger, and other times it feels more like embarassment.

Any thoughts or ideas about what this is, or what to do with/about it? Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I don't know of anyone else having this.