hi and i dont even know why im writing im just so down at the moment... ive recently discovered the name for the problem that has plagued me all of my life.. its called misophonia, it mean dislike of sound...

i decided to tell my partner this, he knew i was a bit of a pain where noise was concerned but i did used to play it down a lot as i felt like i was being weird and thought it was all in my head so kept a lot to myself...

anyway, it started to get to me loads, everything that my partner did that involved making a noise really enraged me inside so i did a bit of research, and thats when i discovered the name.... i confided all of what i discovered with my partner.... and showed him the post i written on a board especially for people with the same disorder he absolutely flipped... in my post i explained how very much in love i am with him, and how i worship the ground he walks on etc but all he seen was the parts where i was saying how much rage i felt inside when he made these noises...

he has literally mentally destroyed me this morning with what he saw... he wanted to see it, he said he wanted to help me get through this as im going to be seeking medical advice, but seeing it has made him flip and now he has gone.... after smashing holes in my walls ....

i am so hurt that i trusted him and now he has done this... it felt like he enjoyed seeing me so weak when i was crying and apologising to him and telling him i didnt want him to leave me... normally i am so strong you see, and so in control of my emotions, until this morning... and he seemed to be enjoying seeing me so out of control and begging him not to leave me and help me through this... he was saying he doesnt know if he can or if he even wants to now... asking me questions that he knows i have no answers to until i seek professional help....

anyway just thought id share that with you... thanks for reading