Thank you sweetie so much for understanding. I think that day I was at the end of my tether .... yes I can relate to EVERYTHING you just said about how I was treated as a child ... but I am getting better slowly. ((((psyched))))) I saw my mum today and I just don't let her get to me anymore, and I don't know whether it's because she has realised that and stopped trying or I just realise they are HER issues .... my husband pointed something out today when I said I had felt sorry for her .... (because she is full of cold and looked little and old today) he said she has grown old and lonely through her own actions .... but I still feel sad actually for that fact gosh I've totally gone off topic sorry ..... it's just she was an abuser emotionally which reminded me .... thank you for replying O xxx