Quote:
Originally Posted by lynn P.
I agree with everything JerryMichele said. I've never even been a fan of men being with women half their age. Sure it might be great in the beginning but what happens when she's 60 and he's forty - will he still be interested. What about kids? If she does get involved it will probably be a short affair until the fireworks die down. I wouldn't want my daughter marrying an older man and if I had a son, I would feel the same.
If I were her friend I would just be honest and give your opinion - this isn't something you would do, but she should do what she pleases. I think if she's not realistic with herself, she will end up disappointed and its a lesson she needs to learn on her own.
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Granted, a relationship based on those realities AND being successful is VERY rare...yet, they DO exist.
Believe me, I can't help but to encounter that very fear. It IS a reality of mine that I'm doing my very best to deal with. In fact, it is the ONLY fear that I have regarding what Kristian and I share.
And you know...I would have already given into that fear and let us go a few times now, IF it weren't for Kristian's love, support, reassurance, strength and faith in us....for 3 years, (heading into 4), now....and despite of how I have laid all the REAL realities out to him, he's STILL there for me.
Although Kristian has supported me to overcome "most" of my fear, (it still lingers, sure), I have realized that having someone like Kristian, who loves me unconditionally as I AM...accepted me at the age I AM now, for who I AM inside....to allow that to go without first giving it an honest try, would be to deprive myself at a very possible chance at real happiness.
For me, (even if it does end up succumbing to what I fear most), the time spent together obtaining what happiness he can offer until that point, is well worth chancing facing that fear becoming a reality.
I used to think, "if only I was younger", or...all the many, many other "if only's", but he's made me realize what's the point of fighting something that simply IS?
I must emphasize, though,it is not an easy arrangement. It's definately not for most. It has it's many, many high prices. For us, several that have yet to be paid, but a debt well worth the principle.
Nuff bout meh...(went on far too long already. My apology).
If this is something that she wants to try with someone equally willing, I wish them the best.
Although, I have to agree that his age may very likely be somewhat young TO endure this kind of arrangement long term. Hard to say.
She may/may not be fully aware of the difficulties which lie ahead, (the slander and the possible disassociations by those who disappove...the list goes on & on), but it is her's to decide.
I agree that her kid's opinions matter. Of course they matter and should allowed to be heard.
Once an adult, if my daughter were ever to become involved with a partner 20 years her senior, (or junior...she'd have to be well into her adulthood by then...lol)...regardless.....IF she were to encounter that vast age diff, the best I could do is offer her my lessons from my encounters, guide her the best I can, and pray that she will be happy. Nothing more I can do.
Acceptance goes a VERY, very long way.
Shangrala
