He hasn't abandoned you, Elysium. He promised never to leave us or forsake us and He is faithful.
Sometimes we get so earth bound and overwhelmed with our own problems that we just don't see or feel Him in our lives and in our hearts. Ask Him to make Himself real to you in your life and He will.
PM me if you want know/hear more, Hon.
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Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.