(((((((((((((Dani))))))))))))))

This is kind of how I spent my summer with T. Sometimes I knew what I needed, but I couldn't open my mouth to SAY it, so I couldn't get my needs met. It felt horrible.

I wonder if instead of canceling, you could call T back and leave a message saying "I need to come in my session and to be able to write the things I need to tell you" or even "I need to come to my session and just be allowed to be, and to cry if I need to". That's partly how I finally broke free of that place I was in this summer. I left a message for T and told him what I needed...because I was in so much pain that I would just freeze up whenever I walked through his door. Somehow, it was easier on a message.

People call and cancel and reschedule all the time. This IS a hard season. Can you give yourself gentle care by letting yourself go to your next session with T?? The other way I got out of the place I was in this summer was by just showing up, over and over and over and over again. And we made it to the other side, to a place of trust and closeness and to a place where I found my voice again. But only because I gave myself a chance to get to that place by going back over and over again, even when it just sucked.

I hope you will give yourself that chance

Gentle to you.