Exoticflower - I have always had my internal "friends" - people I knew were me because they logically could not be anyone else and fit inside my head... but different ideas and ways of seeing things. I just thought since I was a kid (even in pre-school) that everyone had people inside their heads they talked to. I paid a heavy price by being called names throughout all my school years for this. My folks just thought I was very imaginative. I never had imagination friends outside of me - because my internal friends were all I needed.

I was sent to a college counselor when I was 22 after a personal loss. That is when I was first introduced to the concept of multiple personalities because I was loosing a whole lot of time and even ending up in places I had no idea of going to. And people were comming up to me saying "HI!" and asking how I was - people I had never met before and they were totally lost and said "You have a twin then because she looks just exactly like you!" That was a trip! When after several years of counselling he told me it was most likely MPD, I was in total denial. I did not understand the concept and he was not able to give a DX due to his qualifications. But I came to accept the reality of it after a few years and a little research on it.

I have NEVER watched the typical DID movies like Faces of Eve and such. I just continued on with my life and tried to do the best I could in an adult manner. Thankfully, my strongest alter Elaine is more mature than I am and she was able to keep us safe and out of trouble from any alter acting out or lost.

When I was triggered earlier this year after buying a new car - the smell - I was placed in crisis state and forced to go back to therapy. I have been in since July and it has been a wild journey. This T is qualified to make a DX and said it is DID. He has met my alters and he provides the help I had to have this year. But until he told me flat out - and yes, I had to ask in a yes or no way for my own sake - I was still confused about it. I did not understand how it could be that way inside the mind. But the people here at PC have been awesome and TheCrew has really helped me out so much in knowing what my personal truth is. And for me now, that is really waht matters.