Today was quite a peculiar day. Hath my eyes deceived me? Maybe, but I know my hands and emotions had not. Today is a rainy day, a most suitable bleak and desolate sky which ran in tantamount with my own self. The frost worn coldness which pervaded through my body gripped my flash and thus began to poison within.

I felt the barbed icicles of this invisible entity grappling, gashing, and gripping at the very place where my mind met matter. It drifted from me as a watched the raindrops loll their way across my window, the thin barrier of glass which kept all the hope and warmth of the inner mind is fading. Now I find myself alone, my mind even isolated from the only other possession I had, my body.

How strange of a boy am I, to draw back and cringe in fear when a mistress as beautiful as the eye can fathom rears closer to kiss me. Her name is Numbness, sister to apathy, daughter to desolation. But so today I shall die, and tomorrow I'll be born. I'll close my eyes and the world shall form. From darkness I reach for the ineffable light, though it is in cased.

The luminous flames still glow but now harbors the drowsy blue radiance of the ice womb which holds it captive. And so I find myself a single mind of duel dilemmas. Am I reaching in apprehensively from outside the flames? Closer and closer do I long to feel warmth again, yet more fearful and fearful do I grow as my mistress guards the flame.

Am I reaching out desperately from within the flames? Incarcerated like a animal within my own reality, this life, this fear. I am the flame. And I am dying, for this womb is much too cold for me...in the distance I see my brothers and sisters, so distant and so strange.

In their wombs they sit peacefully, not racing and turbulent flames but comfortable and durable blue crystals, adapting, and absorbing the womb's profusion. So where do I reach? I reach for you, for society, for my inner fire, towards the fire, the heat, heat, happy, happy, happiness...could it ever be?

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Hello everyone, I've been hanging around PC in a rather phantom like fashion for quite a while now, and this shall be my first post on this board.

Please forgive me if you think I'm absurd, my ability to vocalize my problems and socialize in general is pretty compromised. So here I turn to the power of the written word bear the mark of my mind's emblem. For some strange reason I find it rather difficult to compose my thoughts in a less abstract fashion, sorry, sometimes I just go off in a trance when I'm writing....

I'll talk more about myself (hopefully in a more concrete fashion next time) later, but for now just know that I am a disillusioned underachieving seven teen year old who has suffered from depression for around six years. My friends and family are unsupportive, my sister's abilities overshadow all of mine, I'm incredibly introverted, was bullied quite a bit in middle school and early high school. My work ethnic is moot and I find myself devoid of much practical knowledge (especially in the financial area), the real world scares me, I've been robbed of my adolescence...

And most of all,

I'm cold. Thank you for reading.

~Monsieur