It didn't cross my mind because I didn't know what DID or MPD was. I knew my online sister had it but didn't understand what it meant except that she used it as an excuse to act like a whiny brat baby (love you sky <3 but that was my impression of you when we first met :P) and she was just an attention ***** when I met an angry violent alter. I forget his name now but he threatened to kill the host and I put my foot down about it. The whole time even though she insisted on being called this other name and talked in third person I assumed it was just her crying out for attention. I didn't handle it well at all. But fortunately the angry alter didn't hurt her only put jelly on her arm and took a picture saying it was blood. She found out about it so I figured she was just mad at me cause of how I treated her and was just using some label to get what she wanted. We didn't talk for many months then I forgot that we even fought and was like "dude how come you don't hangout with me anymore?" lol. That was well over a year ago now. . .maybe two or three? But that was my first experience with someone with DID.

I didn't even imagine I could be DID too. I was starting to lose control of myself I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. I was being accused of things I KNOW I never did at home and at work. I've always had imaginary friends and experienced emotions like they were distant and not a part of me. Which is why I relate very well to others and experience emotions through my friends though I've only felt a few things first hand personally. I came to PC looking to see if there were answers. I didn't know what the question was other than "am I losing my mind?". After being here a few months it was brought to my attention that I switch in chats. Mostly when I think I'm sleeping. It wasn't good enough for me though. I even had saved chats with proof that I switched and I still couldn't believe that I too have DID. I asked my T at the time about it and she insisted that MPD/DID is too rare for me to have and even if I did have this what did I want her to do about it. I still don't know that answer. I want to learn more about my inner world. I want to understand and at least be aware when I switch. So anyways I had a lot of struggle with self-doubt (still do). I lost my insurance so couldn't see a T anymore but still kept my appointment for my pdoc ($80 for 15 minutes omg D. On October 22, 2009 I received an un-official diagnosis by a pdoc who hates labels because he feels it would only get his patience stuck in a box and not be able to move on from it. I don't think they understand that with acknowledgement I'll be able to accept and "fix" it or at least live with it now knowing what I experience has a name. If it weren't for the wonderful people here at PC I would have never known that the way I experience emotions and the voices inside and the world that I've seen bits of not perceived by my physical eyes is part of something unique and worth mentioning. I wish I had mentioned it during my initial evaluation when I had insurance. . . maybe then I would have had a chance at progress before I lost it.