If it isn't working for you, it isn't working for you, and you don't have to convince her of that. You decide what's best for you. If she isn't convinced, that is for her to deal with. She may never think the same way about it that you do. Separate people think separate thoughts.

When she "goes nuts" she is controlling you. When you "give in", you are reacting to the controlling. It sounds hard, but it is freeing to say "This isn't working for me and I'm not interested in continuing." You aren't obligated to say any more. You don't have to justify your thoughts or go into details, although she will try to take you there to make you question yourself. Keep repeating "I'm not interested in continuing the relationship" without responding to the "Why?".

Do you think it's possible to live in the same house? It may be hard to give up the house, but it may be necessary.