I stuck a trigger symbol on this in case someone misinterprets.

I was thinking about energy and Quantum stuff today. Quantum theory says that a particle can have both the property of exiting in waves and in matter. When an observer looks at a particle, it collapses and is seen in wave form. It is said that the observer's mind influences the activity of matter.

OK, so about human bodies and energies. I feel as if the "soul" (for lack of a better word) is energy waves. When the body dies, supposedly the soul's energy leaves the body and dissapates into the air. So, What I want to know is the purpose of having a body so that the self can reside there? Is the sense of self a part of the soul energy or is it something created by the soul energy being contained within a body and having chemical reactions with the biology of a body. In this case is it our choice to die? Does the soul just want to move on? Does the self no longer satisfy the soul so it moves on, or do the chemical processes that create the self simply play themselves out? Is the soul ready to move on or is it forced to? Like in Quantum theory, do we change the property of the soul when we begin to observe it?

OK, so about mental illness. Are the chemical processes sped up so that the body gives out and the soul needs to move on sooner, or are the chemical processes of the body so intense and different from "normal" processes that the sense of self is intensified and conflicts with the soul?
Or like in Quantum theory, are we changed by the observations of ourselves, our p-docs and our T-docs? In that case, do we choose our mental illness or is it thrust upon up by our observers?

Is it possible to slow down the chemical processes so that the self and the soul can exist without conflict? Is that what meds are for? And if we and our observers decide the meds are working, do they begin to work?

Does this mean that everything is an illusion of physics and nothing actually exists at all? Could htis be the underlying issue behind paranoia? By others observing and looking at us, our solid matter collapses and we exist only in a wave (energy) state? In that case, wouldn't the body begin to die a little each time someone observes and judges us? In order to preserve the body and therefore the self, shouldn't we all remain isolated?

Am I making any sense or am I ranting?

I wish I could express myself better.

Any thoughts? Ideas?