(((((((((((perpetually sad))))))))))))))))
i could be you're noticing the "lessnesses" more because that's how you're feeling. but the winter can be a trigger for depression, and so can the holidays (even if a part of you enjoys them).
be gentle with yourself & try not to stress about it. what will happen will happen, unfortunately we ourselves cannot usually stop a manic or depressive episode. just be kind to yourself while it's here.
i liked your analogy of the circles, it's very visual & descriptive.
& i understand it's pretty common for us to have problems with short-term memory loss & forget days.