because it's forcing me to admit I'm s/i again.

Well, today I'm drinking instead. I don't have a clue which is less destructive. I'm not much of a drinker, but it takes the edge off. I s/i 4 times w/i the past week, after not for months. I fessed up to T, who wasn't happy. I'm worried she'll drop me. She asks about the s/i but not drinking.

I just want to hold off for a little longer. I don't want to go backwards. I don't want to cut, to burn. I'm just so sad.