I completely get your post. I've lived in that same neutral, blank doldrum for so long it's become a game - what steps shall I take to fight it off this time? What extraordinary effort must I make to break free again?

It's not about not liking or loving people, or not seeing the value in the activities offered to you. It's more like parts of your brain slowly shutting off neuron by neuron, putting you into a neutral state that lacks the energy to react to life, the sheer effort of taking action becomes incomprehensible.

The funny thing is that apathy doesn't really get taken seriously. We tell ourselves to "buck up." Family members think we are just unmotivated or lazy or "malingering." Friends start thinking we're arrogant or standoffish or uncaring. I've heard so many times "you have so many advantages, you need to be more grateful, more dilligent, try harder."

I'm beginning to understand that this apathy is like a long-lived, slow-acting virus - it invades the host (me) and does everything it can to protect itself from detection and treatment until it has such a strong hold on me that I'm at some risk. Part of it's modus operandi is to isolate me from others to hide how serious it really has become. Part of its power includes the lies "you could do something about it if you felt like it, you just don't" and "it's not really that serious."

It IS serious - just as serious as any other more "glamorous" condition and deserves to be confronted, respected and treated seriously.