I haven't been on this site lately, but I just am like overwhelmed with stuff and really need a way to just get it all out.

So I am a senior in High School now; Last year there was this girl who I liked. I didn't even know her name, just one of those girls where she is so amazing to me I am so attracted to her, but I don't even know her. But this year I have been seeing her around school, not like talking or anything, but just seeing her walk past, and of course like for everything, I feel invisible because she never notices me. I even added her as a friend on Facebook yesterday (I found her name) and she was like "Do I know you?" as if she has never seen me before, Even though we have made eye contact times before. But anyways, back to what I was saying.

I have pointed her out to about 3 or 4 of my friends and each of them didn't think she was attractive/hot; cute for a better word, but I really think she is. Any other girl at school I see, I am like, "Oh, she is pretty" but thats it, I am not drawn to her so much, but with this girl, it's different. I can't even stand to look at her without getting all depressed about it. But that is where I get stuck at. She always hangs around this one guy, holding hands, and sharing his drink in the mornings, not like I am a stalker, ha, but I do pass by her in the mornings to get to class.

Like I said, i can't even stand to think about her anymore or see her, she is just so beautiful. Just thinking about her makes me go spiraling into a depressive state that i can't get out of. I feel stuck, then I started cutting a few weeks ago again because of this, and suicide kinds of thoughts are constantly on my mind.

I know one other girl who likes me, and I kind of like her too, but I don't want to go out with her because that won't make me any happier. I will still only be thinking of that other girl.

I hate feeling like this. My schoolwork is also getting worse because I really just don't care anymore about things.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help me stop wanting to be with her and to stop thinking about her? Thats definitely not what I want to do, but the only thing I can think of to help me. I am also very very shy, and have bad anxiety, so it's hard anyways for me to even get a girlfriend, yet alone this girl I like.

It's a lose lose situation either way.