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I thought being on this site would help me cope with things but I only read about peoples problems and offer my 58 cents and a quarter, but I don't get anywhere. I went to Knotts over the weekend and got on supreme scream, I couldn't figure out why I liked it. The I realized that I liked it because of the free fall. So many things are going on right now and I am losing my mind. (literally). I have friends but I can't talk to them. I can't just come right out and say that I want to SI or am having "thoughts". I have so much work that I can't focus on. I am an honors student with almost all Cs. I act like nothing bugs me but it does. My past present and future just makes me want to "stop the worring", but I know that I do have a few people in my life that would get hurt by me doing that. But the way I see it is that I hurt them enough just by being me. I don't know what to do about any of it and the more I "blackout" the less friends I seem to have at the end of the week. Today is one of those days but all I can do is sit here and suffer or hurt someone I love. I am just losing myself and everything I worked for. I don't care about any of it anymore. I feel like I can't do anything but watch the house burn down.
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