My Sister is Being Cremated Today

It's starting to hit. It's beginning to hit and hard - my quietness, my silence is not a good thing, not a good thing at all...

I've been keeping myself busy since her death on the 3rd
Making sure we, the 3 left Sister's, will have memorial things from Brenda's service. Just to have, you know. Just, I don't know - sentimental.

What a thing to have for remembrance.

The what if's, the I'm sorriest, the should have's, the should Not have, the Oh My God!

I'm not going to the service, nor are my 2 (left over) sisters.
We can not - FACE (the birth canal) is running the whole thing.

The funeral parlor is her stage - my GOD I can she the light shinning on her.

FACE has done a beautiful job preparing the ceremony. But,
Sadly, were was she when Brenda needed her.

When Brenda just wanted a Mom - That's why she stayed connected to her all these 47 years.

Poor baby, now left this 'earth' (huh) never having what she wanted to desperately.

If FACE had admitted her error's (BIG) we may have become somewhat of a family.

But FACE has left deep scar's - that this is actually making them come to the surface - Which is a very very bad thing - RIGHT NOW!

FACE is actually using this time to try and get into the life's of those who have slammed the door in her face - forever.

I knew she would - She's at my Son, playing him so hard. Actually saying "It'll be so good to see you; how many children do you have, I want pictures"

My son who is intelligent and has one heck of huge heart - See's right through her, and it's causing him to pretty much getting Sick, literally!

No one's going that I know of. That big huge funeral parlor, so beautiful MADE UP (exactly - like FACE has always done).

The funeral home is her STAGE. She as I well knew is trying to use this to get into our life's - WITHOUT - facing the truth of what she has done - What She has DESTROYED. Oh, My GOD

I'm feeling such deep sorry - It hasn't come before now.

To know what I will have left are pieces of her ashes (and I've always thought that to be disgusting) - But I need them.

I feel that I want to go, but it will just be a place where I would want to bow my head.
AND that will not be the case - AT ALL!!!!!!!

In Fact it could turn out to be a Bomb Shell... The feelings are already at the edge, but held back for Brenda, for her daughters who she lived her life for, But THEY didn't appreciate she in the slightest.

My Sisters Being Cremated Today - Dec 9, 2009

The memorial is tomorrow.........


GOD IS GOOD