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Dec 09, 2009, 12:44 PM
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Member Since: Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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That's a very good suggestion that Notz gave you. I would also like to gently suggest, if you do go - you would be going for your sister Brenda only and no one else. If you can't go then I fully understand.
When my own brother passed from suicide a year and 8 months ago, I didn't go to his service. I wanted to see my brother before he was cremated, but my SIL had him cremated before any of the siblings saw him. I was devastated and the most livid, I've ever been in my entire life. For me, part of the grieving process is seeing the deceased loved one. I felt if I went, I might choke her - plus I didn't want to go there with hate in my heart when I'm supposed to be praying for my brother. It was very troubling for me to make that decision - should I go or stay home.
I'm sharing with you my story, so you know you're not the only one who's missed your sibling funeral service. In my own mind I made peace with my brother and said my own prayers in my mind. If you don't go, then you and your sisters can have your own little prayer service and perhaps plant a tree in her honor. I know death of a loved one, opens up old family wounds and it will be very hard for a while. You will get through this difficult time Starlite . Your sister Brenda is at peace now and I'll pray for you during this difficult time.
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