The concept of your weight being the source of your pain confuses me, too. The feelings/actions that keep the weight on might be, but the weight itself, to my mind, is a symptom more than a source. Though the weight itself can hold people back, no matter what weight and be the more obvious source of pain (Im trying to understand what she might have meant).
I told T at first tonight that I didn't want to talk about my weight - T told me she would leave it to me to bring up. So then I did what I really didn't expect to do - I brought it back up! I had a good cry about it, told T that I didn't think she understood how I felt, and then of course that opened the door for me telling T how I did feel - we didn't talk a lot about it, because it's SO painful. But T said that she thinks of the weight as being the symptom, that she thinks it's covering my shame, the shame of not feeling loved as a child. I asked T why I wasn't an overweight child then, she said because I was in the thick of the shame itself then. I need to ask her more about this next week, I want to understand it better. But I asked T, I just released this sadness... how do I even access the shame, let alone release it? Obviously, this will involve many, many more sessions, and that's what T said - it's a process. T did say that I should try to be compassionate with myself, more patient with myself and stop the negative self-talk. We talked about ways I can do that.