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So there is this man. And I love him...so ever ****ing dearly. Most people couldnt even begin to understand. No matter how much I say I like someone, how much they make me happy, how much I do love them...they could never ever come close to him. Even if I am in all honesty that I do love someone, its not even close to the love I have for this man..
Its one of those teenage love stories. Like the movies. Too good, yet too bad to be true...but it is. I have known him since I was 13...thats when we were together. Let me tell you, we fell so hard for eachother...But then my mother went psycho on me one day, and made it so I couldnt be with him anymore. He was 17 at the time btw. So even after all this ****, years ago, he said to me "When you turn 18, we're gonna be together and we're gonna get married. Aint that right?" haha..and guess what...theres 10 months until Im 18. And we've talked preiodically...we get into deep conversation a lot. Like tonight. It was the first time Ive talked to him in a couple months. And we really got into our conversation. He still misses me...he still loves me...Like, if any of you knew how utterly fantastic that makes me feel....omg..I dont even know haha. But it makes me want to jump up and down, do cartwheels...something haha.
And you know, I havent seen him since I was 13...only talked to him over myspace. Sometimes the phone, but rarely. I havent seen him for four years...yet we still love eachother more than anything, and we both admit that every single day, we think of eachother. This is such a great feeling. I just wish I could express it with better words. I want to go outside and scream. I just want to cry...and I am haha.
Theres a chance that I might be able to see him this Xmas vacation...and OH MY ****ING GOD. If you knew...if you knew how friggn happy that would make me. I'm legitimately going to be BAWLING. Like hyperventilating BAWLING. haha.
The main thing that has caused my depression is not being able to see him...not being able to be with him. More so than my mother, or my father. I dont care about those situations compared to this. Omg... I just wish I could finish my thoughts, but they are racing and I couldnt separate them all if I tried. But its days like these that make me stop and think...
Soon, everythings going to be okay.
And these are the days that keep me alive.
♥
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"You are a different person to everyone you meet."
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