Sorry you're going through this.
I can so relate. Pretty much same for me.
"Sometimes we teach best what we need to learn most"
I give good advice. Now only if I'd follow my own.

I've been wondering what the hell is going on with me. Symptoms of extreme sadness and sorrow for no apparent reason...sneaks up on me without even realizing it. When it hits. I'm good for nothing. I don't get anything done. Can't think straight. Everything is a drag. The simplest of tasks have become enormous feats to even think about, let alone do. And the more I don't (can't) do, the worse I feel about myself. I know they need attendance, yet when I try to begin, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. I tell myself I'll do later. Later seldom comes. Pressure builds.

I'm aware of this cycle, but I find myself just thinking about changing it brings me down, and I'm not able to care enough to change it.

I'm really sorry to hear this is happening for you.
I hope the best for you, and that you find some relief....soon.

Shangrala