Can you voice your opinion to T about your feeling differently about acceptance. I disagree with her, depending on how she stated that it was not as important in middle age. Is this a personal reference, or based on research data... Is there an explanation behind it? I think that for the emotionally well-adjusted (for lack of a better term this early in the morning) middle age can mean acceptance is less important. In fact, this sounds like something from Erikson's developmental stages. So then if acceptance is still important to a person, then like you say, it is an unrealized developmental need. So I guess I disagree that one can make a blanket statement about acceptance and middle age. I would probably have felt uncomfortable hearing that.

Her comment while you were showing her the gift you are making for her is interesting also. It sounds like it had a purpose of reinforcing the idea of separateness. A response to the interpretation of the idea of the gift. I wonder if she is comfortable receiving gifts.

I'm sorry these experiences were uncomfortable. It is so helpful to realize when we dissociate and even more helpful to be aware of how it began. There is so much to explore.