Miss~

I can pretty much relate to what you're going through.
Although, I'm not sure if what I am IS depressed, (tho I highly suspect so).
I've never sought any dx. Never been to docs for any sort of assistance as I've felt that what I am experiencing will....pass. And that what I've been going through, (for well into 2 years now), is "just a phase" and rationalize it by using my optimism to will it away. Needless to say, it isn't working.
I'm a very optimistic person. I'm the "happy-go-lucky" kinda gal one would often see offering a smile in public passing. Yet, for some reason, Ive been sinking into this sludge of existance that is not only new to me, even tho it's been progressing gradually, but I deny happening, as well.
Actually, I don't necessarily deny it anymore. I'm aware of it. How can I not be? It's consuming me anymore.
Although I remain the cheerful me in public...IF I even make it out "there" anymore, I'm ...depressed (?) at home.
The simplest of things have become extremely difficult. And I don't want to think that I need someone else, (or drugs) to fix me.

I've never been dx'd for any depression. Wouldn't even know where to start....if that is what it is. Denial? Maybe. I don't know.

I'm sorry that you're going through this.
I can only wish you the best and hope that you do find a solution before it worsens.

Shangrala