Hi, I wish we could talk face to face. There is a lot I could say and I am sure you too. I can relate to many things you wrote on different levels. My boyfriend's mum died when he was young and though he stayed with his dad, he had to cope with a mentally unstable and jealous step mother who to this day cannot show affection or praise him. His ex wife then cheated on him and he was left very hurt. So he has too, trust and intimacy issues. He loves me very much but finds commitment hard (though he is very commited emotionally and sexualy). We have had ups and down and grew closer over the years. His ability for empathy has grown as well as his communication ability. But that took hard work and willingness from both of us and still there is work to be done.

The best advice I can give you, knowing that every situation is different, is look within. Stop all the thoughts of analysing him. Thinking about his childhood. His problems. His issues and his behaviour. Focus on you. Your emotional well being, your priorities, your values, your needs and your daughter.

Personally, I would show him what you wrote on here (maybe in a form of a letter), as I feel it is very powerful. Maybe also - when he has time to read on his own he can take things in better.

I would stop blaming him. He cant do what he cant do. This is him. All you can do is tell him what you need and how you feel (in a non excusatory way).

If he talks about HIS fears of you cheating - just say that this is his own paranoia and that you love him. I would not go into discussions... Its not rational thinking - is it...

I hope this helps a little. And a good marriage counsellor can help a lot in terms of healthy communication, trust and empathy.

I wish you all the very very best and I hope it works out!!! xx