you're dealing with so much right now......you have every reason to believe that your life is pointless.....i'm sure that is how it feels......and i doubt if anything i would say right now will make you feel any better but even when things seem bleakest.life has a way of turning itself around.......you just have to hang in there......talk to people here...get your feelings out....grieve for your loss.........but try to remember that each today brings the promise of a new tomorrow.....sounds corny but its true.....try not to look at this as an end but the chance for a new beginning.....let us know how you are doing........people here care..if you need anything...just ask........julia