Oh, Tree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
it's just to look inside and let myself see the disgusting, dirty, gross, fat, ugly, unacceptable, repulsive, unworthy, unwanted, untouchable person that i really am is so painful. and sickening. i almost can't stand it.
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My stomach clenched when I read this, it resonates with me so much.
I hate that you feel this way, and I hate that I know that feeling all too well. I've just been covering it up for so many years, and it's starting to surface now. But I don't think I could handle feeling it full-force, I'm not there yet.
Tree, I think you're so brave to feel all that pain. Please know that it is part of the healing process, and that very soon, those middle days will get brighter and brighter, and these darker days will be fewer and farther between.