((((Tree)))This is the core of it all. This is it. This is what we have been covering up with food, alcohol, busy-ness, dissociation, whatever we ca find to stuff the awfulness of our feelings. When you sprral around your core issues, you are getting there, getting there. getting there, its hard...then when you hit the core of your self...its almost unbearable. Tree- I know it hurts. These ARE the core feelings that you (and me, too) have been doing everything to run from. All of your parts help you to deal with these feelings. It is what the abuse has taught you that you are. But you are not these feelings. YOU ARE NOT!
Do you remember a while ago I posted something comparing to the process of birthing to the process og "giving birth" to our own selves? It is as if you must go through these "birth' pains, and they are so painful, Tree, in order to give life to your own true self. I am going through the same thing. Like contractions that come and go in waves, there are times Im in more pain than other times. You are in a wave of pain.....((((Tree))). It will pass, my dear, sweet friend. And maybe you will see more of your true self emerging. And then maybe there will be more pain again. You ARE doing it! Reaching the core. I am so sorry you are in this much pain, but please know it IS part of the "birthing" process.

I can already see the baby's head....but maybe you cant yet from your vantage point....