It is so painful when we resort to those crappy and self destructive coping mechanisms. Your T has an amazing way of soothing you and letting you know its OK for you to be wherever you are in the moment. I find that when T treats me (or even when my H treats me) in such a soothing way, I can better soothe myself in those raging moments or, more likely, after those raging moments. I just posted something about that, too...sigh....

Im glad you are feeling better