all my life i was taught to be quiet.saying things...anything...was felt to me..dangerous.
crying or making noise was dangerous. now...for whatever reason.. my floodgates have opened. today was the worst...t...changed the rules for all her clients...people used to be able to call her for skills calls...not anymore except during office hours then she might be able to get back to us.i know it is good for her..she needs a life but the way she presented it, i took it as all my fault cried and cried.
paranoid lately or maybe very oversensitive...anyways in did chat i took someone elses questioning and "tone" and got paranoid..or over sensitive and asked what chip was on their shoulder...that was dumb and stupid.....wish i had not said that.
now i feel so wrong and like people here hate me.......ive felt the world hates me anyways....i just feel like i cant be in this world.....meaning i just need to stay in my apt. and have no contact with people so i wont make any mistakes....now i feel that way even coming on line...even on line i do things wrong.
i'm at such a loss. like im new to the world and i dont know the rules anywhere and ive got to be quiet ...not exist..like it was growing up...because its dangerous...just existing...even in 2009.
I Am Very Sorry To Anyone Who I made Tonight Hard for..id rather be helpful..not hurtful. kasva