I think you are right, that feeling and expressing anger is good for me, but when I do, its rage and out of control. I wish I could do "controlled anger" ???? Not triggered anger. Its as if I go from feeling fine and triggered into rage in a split second.

MUE- I think that your ex's behavior would majorly trigger me, too. I guess its true, yrs of repression leads to, I guess, anger inexperience. We dont know how to do appropriate anger? Even if the people we are angry with are no longer available or alive. Im not even sure what approprate anger would look like, but I see people get angry at something/someone and then move on.....it doesnt turn into childhood rage. I guess its not about how to express the anger, but how to get it out and work on what enraged us as vulnerable children.

I was never allowed to express anger, I remember my mother saying to me, "Dont you get angry at me, young lady!" And I wqas real young, far from being a "young lady." UGH!