You're not a loser hun. ((((turquoisesea)))) I hate that feeling of getting sucked into despair; that's how I feel a lot. It's like quicksand for me. Whenever I feel like I'm getting close to escaping the pit it sucks me in again. I try to hold on to the positive feelings I have when I have them, but they always end up evading me eventually.

Honestly, I feel like I can't live in reality sometimes either. I love talking to you guys on here but I'm hiding from everyone I know IRL. There's so much I tell you guys that I don't tell even my own parents. I just don't trust anyone around me to understand what I'm going through or take it seriously.

We both just have to hang in there. Hold on tightly to what you do have and keep your arms and heart open to what you don't. We'll find what we're looking for eventually. 'Til then, we're (I'm) right here with you.