Googley- That is a really, really good idea. There is something about it that scares me, bringing it all up in a stream of consciousness. I feel like I need to beat up a pillow and scream and cry.

Im going to do that (not the pillow beating thing) but write in my journal the way you suggested. And get it all out, whatever comes to mind and whatever I can remember...Im thinking...it has to be a time when I spend a few minutes away from my little ones without being interrupted....

Thanks everyone