Not sure what there can be done.
The fact is I am not impulsive in this thinking.
It is with clarity, strength.
I still have time to get out of it. I know there has to be some sort of miracle or godly intervention.
I had a pdoc appt tonight. Problem is...this is only the second appt with this woman and I really don't trust her or like to talk with her. So, I just told her cymbalta seems to be fine, no side affects. She says things I have no idea what she is talking about. She asked me if my depression is anybetter and I told her today like 2 weeks ago I am not in a severe depression...just have bouts of extreme withdrawl and sadness.
Told her my good thoughts are now working side by side with my bad thoughts to make them parrallell. It is actually getting difficult to distinguish.

Again, let me repeat....I am dealing with my T on this issue of having a time line. I am not just typing in here and not telling someone IRL. She is aware of my thoughts and I am working together with her despite how my head is thinking.

Typing here helps...I can get it out and get feed back and know I am not alone.

Still, I have a lot to consider. Sometimes I believe this is my destiny....

Thanks for listening....
I am trying to figure it all out...I promise.